I kissed dating hello


I Kissed Dating Hello



I Hugged Dating Hello: An Open Letter to Joshua Harris

There are a handful of our posts, which even though we wrote them long ago, get comments daily. It is no shocker that attraction and desire are huge issues in marriage, or is it?? This is the flip-flop post for all those i kissed dating hello out there who struggle with being attracted to their husbands. It is a two-part post. The first post is to those of you out there who are soon to be wives. Those who are seriously dating or engaged.

Because Jesus calls us to love and truth, it is not my intention to condemn, but to challenge. Do you think about his physical features? Do you get excited when you think about exploring his body? This is not meant to lead you down a path that you should not be on until after your wedding, but it is meant to challenge you. Physical attraction is a huge part of marriage. It is not everything by any means, but the sexual side of marriage and attraction go hand in hand.

There are many people who encourage very little touching holding hands, arms around one another, etc. Or the attraction is only one-sided. That is a real issue, and one that needs to be addressed in the church. In the fear that we will lead young people into temptation, we have led them to believe that we must deny ourselves the experience of figuring out whether or not we are physically attracted to our potential husband. What am I suggesting you might ask? To be honest, you need to kiss your man!

How much and how often, that is something you need 2 things for. The first is that you need to be talking to God. His plan for marriage is simply that much of the physical be saved for exploring in marriage. So if you are talking with him and determined together to not get i kissed dating hello of God in his plan for marriage, he will lead you! The second thing that is needed is i kissed dating hello married couple you trust who you can talk to and who can keep you accountable.

It is way too easy for kissing to turn into other things and all of a sudden you are on temptations door step and it is so hard to resist, if you are attracted to one another. On your wedding night God i kissed dating hello for you to get undressed and enjoy each other sexually. To be nervous about sex is one thing and completely normal, but to be unsure of your desire and attraction for your future husband is a red flag! If you find yourself attracted to everything else about him, but not physically, that is a red flag as well.

God wants you dating sites latvia be attracted to your future husband physically. You should think he is i kissed dating hello, handsome and i kissed dating hello to have sex with him. Can attraction grow over time? Yes, but that is a dangerous game to play. What if in 5 years you are still in the same place? You have made a choice to step into a marriage that does not have the physical component i kissed dating hello God desires it to have.

It is something that God saved just for the marriage relationship, a glue in many ways! If you find yourself confused about whether or not you are attracted to your potential husband to be, please find a trusted wife that you can talk to and get wise counsel. I know it is hard to think of hurting someone, but the hurt will be much worse when in marriage it is realized that there is not mutual attraction. Would love to hear others thoughts on this topic!

Bad news all the way. My husband and I kissed before marriage, but I became so obsessed reading articles about purity that I would feel guilty about the kissing see i kissed dating hello. I wish I had never read those articles. Now that we are married, I have a very difficult time being sexual to the point where my body shuts down.

I spent 6 months receiving medical treatment for vaginismus- unfortunately that did not address the underlying psychological causes. Now we drive very far every week for several months to see a Christian sex therapist. Our sex life i kissed dating hello been a nightmare due to the excruciating pain. In my opinion, the purity obsession is doing more harm than good. In my opinions, kissing is very important for couples no matter they are in dating or marriage, since it is a good way to resolve conflicts.

I must respectfully disagree with this. My husband and I married four years this i kissed dating hello were together for two years before getting married. We shared our first kiss after we had been engaged for three months, only two months before the wedding. And since it was a long distance relationship, we only saw each other one other time between then and the wedding.

Let me tell you, we had no problem knowing if we were attracted to each other before kissing!! I understand people have different convictions i kissed dating hello I do and I respect that. And I know in my close acquaintances and with my siblings that I am not the exception to the rule. Many who choose to wait till at least engagement, if not longer, have very rich sexual lives. Hi Amanda, thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts. I just want to be clear, I did not say that kissing would fix this problem.

On the other hand, I must respectfully disagree with you as well. You can have the BEST sex education in the world, have great parental role models where marriage is concerned and still struggle in your sex life. God designed us to be attracted to our spouse and to desire them physically. Great for guarding purity, but not so great for discovering if you are attracted to your potential spouse sexually. There are many different parts to attraction, they are not all physical. But physical IS important and it is the one the church tends to avoid like the plague.

Nor does he want us to be afraid of what he has created for good! I am thankful that your story is a testament to good of waiting. Yet i kissed dating hello emails I get daily, tell another story. One full of hurt and marriages that hold no attraction to one another. I believe God can heal those marriage and bring desire for one another. Because once married God is FOR the marriage. But we can also look to how we can avoid those things in the future with new marriages.

Again, I really appreciate you sharing and am thankful for the one flesh marriage story you have to share! Having said that, I understand that others may be fine with easing up on their hold on that idea.


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