Dating without physical intimacy
Can a relationship survive without intimacy?
When it comes to intimacy, the million-dollar question is "How far is too far? With intercourse out of the question, there are ways to grow in intimacy dating without physical intimacy another and yet remain chaste. If you hope to develop healthy physical relationships, read on. In romantic relationships, the goal is to communicate in a loving, giving manner—to be affectionate.
Affection is the outward expression of something that is occurring within the couple internally; this something is more than physical attraction. On the dating without physical intimacy hand, lust is excessive sexual desire not controlled by concern for another. Lust does not give; it takes for itself. Lust is an appetite that seeks to satisfy itself at the expense of another and is unconcerned with intellectual, emotional, or spiritual health.
It is never healthy, loving, or giving, even in marriage. Obviously, affection should be the primary goal of every healthy couple—never to use each other for physical gratification, but rather to love each other. To ensure that physical acts are affectionate, a couple must thoughtfully decide when and how to progress physically in a healthy manner. You must first make the cake relationship with the essential ingredients of flour great conversationsugar fun togethereggs similar moral values, spiritual agreementand brown sugar respect, honor.
When all of these work together and rise, add the icing physical intimacy. A cake, like a romantic relationship, is incomplete without icing at least some physical sign that this person is more than a friend. Although no time is specified for adding the icing, the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacy should come first. As a relationship deepens, the friendship elements should continue progressing at a steady rate, and the physical should slowly follow.
In this way, the other intimacies support the physical. All healthy physical acts should be an outpouring of the strong personal connection of the couple. Acts of physical affection progress as the friendship and relationship grows, with the couple eventually arriving at a place where marriage makes sense physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. The friendship aspects of the relationship may not grow exactly as sequenced in the graph, and that is normal.
Some couples connect and grow spiritually before they do intellectually or emotionally. The sequence of growth for the friendship intimacies is not as important as the fact that they should develop before the physical. Appropriate physical affection at each stage of a romantic relationship will be different for each couple. Most important is that each couple should move slowly physically dating service for diabetics focus on affectionate acts only.
Many young people have the misconception that the only options in physical intimacy are kissing, touching, and then sex. Desmond Morris compiled a list of stages of marital intimacy. The first six stages are almost always, on their own, signs of affection. The next three stages can be affectionate, but they also have the potential to become lustful. As a relationship develops, conditions can be present in any of the stages that will lead to too much or inappropriate physical intimacy.
Relationships fail to develop in a healthy manner when lust takes over. Lust focuses on the physical bonding at the expense of the other aspects of the relationship. Lust does not require intellectual, emotional, or spiritual dating without physical intimacy, so it does not need friendship to grow. For couples dating without physical intimacy focus primarily or too early on physical acts, the other three intimacies typically become stunted, take longer to develop, and are always overshadowed by the physical.
When the physical is not supported by a growing intellectual, emotional, and spiritual connection, the focus becomes lustful. Everything after the breaking point—the switch from affection to lust—is too far, unhealthy, and therefore sinful because they are not supported by the other aspects of intimacy. How soon the breaking point is reached will differ from couple to couple. For those who have had previous sexual experiences, the breaking point can come much sooner than for others.
Sexual stimulation before marriage is also unhealthy intellectually. Logically, it is obvious that purposeful stimulation is designed to lead to intercourse. God designed sexual stimulation to be dating without physical intimacy to completion. It decreases our ability to give freely in marriage. Whatever leads an individual or couple to sexual stimulation should be avoided before marriage to avoid repression. Steven had experienced sex in the past, but desired to live chastely.
When he started dating his now wife, they made the decision to not kiss in that way. A healthy couple will recognize their breaking point and avoid it. This knowledge surfaces either from the wisdom of others or from personal experience—individually or as a couple. If a couple moves slowly and keeps motives in check, they do not need to experience their breaking point to know where it exists. A healthy couple will show physical affection without putting each other on the brink of sin.
In a loving relationship, if one senses the breaking point soon approaching, he or she will stop the other so that together they can keep the relationship chaste. Lana and John decided to move slowly physically. This indicated that they needed to slow down physically. With the use of this easy and loving gesture, they chose to keep the focus on affection. Fun, healthy dating avoids bringing each other to the breaking point or leading the relationship into lust.
True chastity allows us to walk away from every date with the respect that we deserve. These guidelines for healthy relationships might seem challenging; however, we must consider the perspective from which they emanate. When it dating without physical intimacy to suggestions and rules from the Church, we often become frustrated and view them as obstacles or fences that keep us from experiencing the other side. Instead of staring at the fence, why not turn around and focus on enjoying all the beauty, fun, and peace that can be experienced within the boundaries?